The whole “it’s okay, to not be okay” thing is fair… but it’s definitely overstated. Maybe “its okay, to be okay” could be the new norm. I feel like society has painted this image of single girls often being the damsel in distress. Let’s be honest, I’d be lying if that wasn’t me around 40% of the time when I’m being melodramatic (sorry friends). Females can be alright, I just don’t understand why its so surprising.
Self sufficiency is one of my top priorities this year. Love yourself, do things for your self and be selfish when you need to be. Live for yourself first, and I promise it’ll be more satisfying when you’re with others. Being needy is unattractive, and possibly being too independent can be perceived to be that too. The point is, at the end of the day you’re only left with yourself so why not get comfortable. Plus if someones onto it and independent they can jump from a 6/10 to 8/10 (I’m kidding.. kind of). The more self sufficient I am, the more liberating and content I’ve become with pretty much most aspects of my life.
The topic of validation has been lingering in my subconscious lately (obviously enough that I’m now consciously writing about it). Validation through the form of others is feedback loop for low self-esteem. So tired of people relying on this from the gender they’re attracted to. How nice would it be if people didn’t need validation to feel complete? Of course, attention is nice and anyone who denies that is lying. But relying on others to make you feel enough, is not okay, and probably depressing. Obviously if you’re single, this modern dating world is 10x more complicated than ever; with social media and constant access to communication. There are millions of people out there, a mix of those holding various agendas. I’m a firm believer in finding people through not looking, be open to opportunities and say yes (also just chill, I don’t understand the whole ‘single panic’ thing). Don’t worry about playing people or being played. Have your priorities straight, be cautious, be honest when it gets messy, look after yourself and know what you want. The result? You’ll be more carefree, enjoy simplicity and will easily take things as they come.
As a self-confessed serial contemplator, you come to realise that despite how much knowledge you might hold, everyday people are not to be deciphered. In theory, if you do what you want and know what you want, you’re untouchable. Whether that’s the physical or emotional is up to you to decide. People, including ourselves, ultimately do what they want. We have our own drives and motives that direct our own behaviours. The only thing you can control is yourself… here’s where I insert one of those cringe quote like “best version of yourself” etc, you get the drift.
On a lighter note: I’ve never been so into my early 20’s so much, theres so much to learn, realise and explore. For the first time, in a long time, I’m excited for not only the positives but also the downfalls this chapter holds. Negatives aren’t fun, but it provides the most growth and realisation that I think is it’s both necessary and priceless. A change in perspective is refreshing, it also means you’re evolving. Everything is so much easier when you just have yourself to look after! 🙌 Despite all this, I continue to be a hopeless romantic.. Happy Saturday!